Young Money - We Are Young Money

Before I type a single word on my next review, I have to let you know my stance on hip-hop and rap (I don't know the difference, so don't question my authoritay) Hip-hop is one of my favorite types of music, but I also listen to fewer rap artists than any other genre of music. For me, rap is special because its a process that just has to click. Much of my white boy music can be great for strictly musical talent, great instrumentation, nice lyrics, etc., but hip-hop has the right to break that rule. Some hip-hop song's can be simple as a backbeat of edgy drums and an aspiring cocky young artist spewing egocentric monstrosities like an AK-47; and it works. I don't know how but it works. Well, It can work. At the same time it can be a disaster.

Cue example...

Let him take you to da movie. He knows you like.

No one should be subject to that. No one.

Anyways, I guess i just want you to know that I am not a "music-lover" who hates rap because "It's not music"(I was too cool for rap in middle school, but in middle school I liked Good Charlotte, so...). I've even got rappers for every season. Winter is for Jay-Z, Spring is Kanye time (Don't hate on Kanye. Yea he's a douche, but he's a hip-hop pioneer; a genius. Late Registration is one of my favorite albums of all time (No MTV awards pun intended), so shutup...), Weezy in the summer, And T.I. fills in the fall slot. However, half of that group has been/are going to be incarcerated soon, so I may have to find a sub for this summer.

Oh yea, I can't stand Gucci. Sorry obnoxious middle/upper class white frat boys who feel "hood" after listening to him. Garth Brooks is probably next on your playlist.

Cue review...

Young Money is a rap supergroup composed of two prominent rappers, a la Lil Wayne and Drake, and various smaller rapper such as Jae Millz (Windmills and s*&^, yo), Gudda Gudda (gutter? good? don't know what he's getting at), Mack Maine (reppin Augusta; Compton of the North East), Nicki Minaj (From that obscure welding class you took sophomore year), Lil' Chuckee (Need I say More), and Lil' Twist (And shout). The group is all under Young Money Entertainment, owned by Lil Wayne himself. This squad should be required to produce semi-decent material. They've all shown their chops before and should have some talent.

Unfortunately, they group is not what they should be. Every song is the perverted rambling of a group of immature adults who find a sexual metaphor for everything in life. Seriously, the entire album is a verbal porno. It seems that there is a checklist to make songs for Young Money.

• The song must contain 3/4th's "creative" metaphors on how to sleep with seven women at once
• Always mention how ever many toilets are in your house. Don't question this.
• Talk about how much you don't want to fight, but never end that remark without saying that you will fight/kill people. Otherwise you're just a soft. Pansy
• Try your hardest to mention the Meca of Young Money; "New Arlins"
• Reference your drug uses. That way it's like a game of hide and seek with the DEA.
• NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, GET LIL' WAYNE ON THE TRACK SOMEHOW. EVEN IF IT IS A RECORDING OF HIM WALKING AROUND IN TAP-DANCE SHOES, GET SOMETHING OF HIM ON THERE.

That's right, the whenever the kid's get in trouble (apparently you can only talk about consummating so much), the kids call daddy Wayne to fix the track. And sure enough, the three deceiving hits that convinced me to buy the album feature more Weezy than any of the other 12 excruciatingly mediocre tracks. In those three songs, "Every Girl In The World", "Bedrock", and "Steady Mobbin", Dwayne Carter manages to salvage the mess, but Papa Wayne can't get the crew out of trouble on the rest of the mess. The album cover is painfully ironic as angry looking Daddy Wayne is permanently crying over his groups attempt at an album. Drake somehow got out of a good portion of the album, and is the least connected to the project in the group. There are some truly bad verses from the people you would expect ("My momma calls me Gudda"). Nicki Manij is one of the hardest to hear. Nicki Manij sounds like the ridiculously vulgar spam porn messages in chatrooms, vocalized. She is nasty. She doesn't have a problem in stating to the world that she is the biggest slut in the history of desperate rap groupies. She is disgusting bait to lure in obliviously horny teenagers to the music. It disturbs me that she puts material into the public to be heard, because it is destroying any image of complexity rap is trying to convey. Let me give you a heads up, just don't listen to "Bedrock", "Play in My Band", "F@#$ Da B$%^S@#$", "Roger That", "Street's Watchin", or "Finale", as they all feature the musical travesty. And speaking of musical travesties, Lil Wayne spends the first 50 seconds of "Mrs. Parker" saying "Mrs. Parker" and "You will never let a n#$%%^ fall" thirteen times, which is miserably annoying. Lil' Wayne should be punishing both his "kids" and himself for the piece of crap that is We are Young Money. Don't believe me? Listen for yourself.